Learning to Accept The Things We Can’t Control

I was working with a Client recently who was having a really difficult time with letting go of control from her team. The one piece of advise that I gave her and that I am going to give you too is that we have to learn to accept the things we can’t control.

A few years ago I started using the phrase, “It is what it is.” This truly allowed me to accept the reality of my situation, no matter how dire it seemed to be at the time.  I honestly have no idea where I got the phrase from, but it is and has been my personal life changing motto.

The Wedding Things We Can’t Control

I remember when I was planning my wedding and my mom was focusing on every little detail. I would tell, “Mom, it is what it is…it’s not going to be perfect”. She HATED that saying and it would frustrate her whenever I would use it. I recall us having a conversation one day and she asked me in frustration, “why do you always say that!!!” I explained, “well mom the reality is I can’t change it. To stress over it isn’t going to help, it is still going to be what it is. Sooooo it is what it is…I just choose not to stress about it.”

I went on to explain that no wedding was ever perfect and I refused to focus so much on the details that I missed the overall purpose of the day. The reality is if I had focused on every little thing that went wrong I would have lost my mind. The day wouldn’t be and wasn’t any less beautiful because of the issues.

I only had food labels on one buffet and not the other. Some family members wouldn’t sit where I assigned them.  My dress wasn’t on properly, and none of that changed that it was one of the happiest days of my life…in fact those things added to my story.

Converting The Unbeliever

Well, fast forward two years later and guess who has come over to the dark side? Yep you guessed it, my wonderful mother. I remember the first time I heard her say it, I was so shocked but it gave me so much joy.  I realized she had finally let go and learned how to stop worrying about everything.

I used the situation of my wedding and this motto to show you that we are all faced with situations that are not of our liking.  They have the potential to define who and what we are.  You just have to decide if you are going to let it control your life.

Life Things We Can’t Control

How many times have you been faced with a situation that was or could have been life changing? How did you handle it? I won’t say I’ve always handled it perfectly. I mean come on I have panic moments and freakouts like the best of them.  That being said, I regularly try to bring myself back to think about what is really important.  What is God trying to tell me with this situation?

It isn’t always easy BELIEVE ME!!!! but it is comforting to just sit back and focus on that discussion with God. More times than not He does give me an answer pretty quickly to my question. It may not be the same day but if I’m patient and open to Him, I do get an answer.

So, recently I received a link to a video and I just had to share it because we all struggle with the question of why didn’t this happen or why did this happen. I encourage you to not focus so much on that…but realize, it is what it is and you have a choice to determine if you are going to let it define who you are or are you going to determine who you are. It’s your choice…what are you going to do?


About Dana LaRieal Morales

Dana LaRieal Morales is the Founder of The Happiness Bucket where she coaches individuals and teams on having a better work-life balance. She is a Certified Project Manager, an Alum of the University of Tennessee Knoxville, where she earned her degree in sociology with a concentration in criminal justice and she is also an Alum of Tennessee State University where she earned her Masters in Public Administration, She uses her vast organization, project management and process improvement experiences to help those around her be their best selves.

1 Comment

  1. A great mantra to live by…it is what it is. A friend had shared this video a couple weeks ago but you reminded me to watch it.

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